"We all do what we have to do."What did I have to do? I had to keep trying. I had to find a way to out-wait her father, to get messages to her, to tell her I love her. I had to get her back somehow.Tuesday night I went to my class at IU extension and didn't hear anything that was said.No. That's not true. Nicki got up to read a passage from her personal essay. I remembered that."Don't ever think that the ghosts people imagine are less real than the people they meet every day. I can see them, even as I look at you in this class. I see specters of all the mistakes in my life and all the people who hate me. I know those ghosts are real. They haunt me day and night."It seemed like she looked straight at me.Somehow we got through September. There was so much work. Brenda and I studied Trig together on Saturdays. Sora and I studied German. She seemed to like spending time with me and often hung around after we studied while I was working on other classes. I felt bad that I never asked her. Youre too sweet a boy for that. And I stroked his cheek. He smiled and blushed again, this time at the compliment. I really wish I could fuck you, Jason, but I dont dare. Im not on the Pill or anything and I cant risk getting pregnant. But I really would love to feel your cock inside me, I added softly. He looked regretful but he nodded that he understood. So youre technically still a virgin, I guess. Thats okay, Angela — I still have plenty of time. Um, . . . do you think Janie would do any of the things weve been doing? I really like her and I dont want to scare her or anything. . . . I tried to picture naive, semi-flat-chested Janie with Jasons penis down her throat and couldnt. Well, . . . I dont think you should try anything too ggressive, okay? I mean, practicing French-kissing with her is one thing, but shes had even less experience than you had before today. I was a virgin until I was sixteen, Jason — almost seventeen. So dont push her, okay? He nodded and crossed his heart..
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